Archive for the ‘Photoshop’ Category
Sea Monster Cancels Jersey Shore
On February - 3 - 2010
It is being reported that this giant squid did what Afro-Squad executives were unable to do. After hundreds of calls to network executives, desperately pleading with them to cancel the series Jersey Shore, a giant squad shut down operations on the set.
“I was just tired of looking at those freakin’ kids,” said Larry the Giant Squid. “I had to take matters into my own tentacles.”
AfroSquad News is Growing, Despite Imperfections
On January - 24 - 2010
“We really should have thought this out a bit more,” said Afrosquad’s lead reported the SnowMan. “Had I realized the acronym for Afrosquad News Universe Syndicate spelled ANUS, I would have never paid to put the sign on our new building.”
After christening the ANUS building, the Afrosquad celebrated long into the evening. With over 3,000 people in and out of the ANUS last night, the Squad feels like they have really broken in the new building.
“The name is a bit awkward, but when you consider how shitty other news syndicates are, it really seems appropriate,” said Afrosquad’s KrazyMan. “Despite our pleasure, this really stinks.”
The ANUS started small, with just a few people in it. However, the hopes are that the ANUS will keep growing for years to come.
“After last night’s blow out, this thing really feels right. It is amazing how wrecked this place got though. We better call a cleanup crew.”
Evil Robot Woman – No Different the Real Woman
On January - 22 - 2010
The Afrosquad News Universe Syndicate received a report that a robot company is releasing the first fully functional female robot. It will be complete with the ability to talk, love, perform sexual relations, and smile.
Each robot is completely customizable, and each one will come with four different preprogrammed personalities.
Afro-Squad’s SnowMan stated, “Four personalities! Wow it really is like a real woman!”
Mo’Nique Hairy Legs – The Black Carpet Display
On January - 19 - 2010
Mo’Nique won a Golden Globe for best supporting actress for her dramatic role as an abusive mum in the movie Precious: Based on the novel ‘Push’, by Sapphire.
She was photographed lifting up her skirt and showing off her hairy legs as she made her way to the ceremony at the Beverly Hilton Hotel.
The image has been circulated by gossip websites, with many commentators saying the 42-year-old’s display was inappropriate.
The Afro-Squad News Syndicate was the first to break display this picture. Apparently she has a black carpet, so we are not sure why they are calling it a red carpet display.
Afro-Squad Exclusive
