Who Shoots You In The Leg?
by a white-tailed deer.
I’ve been in the forest for quite some time now, and I gotta tell you, I’ve seen a lot of shit in my day. I’ve seen a bear eat defenseless trout, beaver jack up an entire stream, and powerless chipmunk get devoured by birds eight times their size. Sometimes it seems like an unfair world, but in the end, it makes sense. There’s a natural order to things. There’s balance. So you can imagine how shocked and disturbed I was last week when I was eating some corn I thought was nice, only to have some asshole dressed as a shrub shoot me in the leg.
I am not even lying. At this time last Wednesday, I had a jackoff in an orange camouflage hat drinking Miller Lite shoot me in the leg. Straight f’ing through—no joke. I’m not making this up. This actually happened to me.
So, obviously, that leaves just one question: How batshit insane do you have to be to sit there, bait somebody, and shoot them in the leg! I could have been killed, for Christ’s sake! I am not going to take this anymore, and I’m scared as shat to go after any corn again.
